At issue too in notation is the subject of Universality - as a function of what I call SURformalism.  SURformalism involves the use of a formal approach to exclude specific artist based opinion and bias. In my use of a formal expression, I present no "content" as such. The artist's will as typically exhibited as expression cultural reference, political views, and person imagery is put aside in favor of a form that uses neutrality to gain a closer and more direct relationship with the events, circumstances and objects of the word, by clear and ideal example. Here, SURformalism expresses itself as distinct. Materials are generally neutral. They should be as close to an abstract, graphic notation as possible. This means, material has a neutral quality. It serves the function of specific object, but should be previously unused, and a material that could be for many purposes- the act determines use. Such material, though having still a broad set of applications that are finite, should be as close as possible to multipurpose, and as yet undesignated for function. Typing paper, boards, sheets of plastic, metal, wood, tubes, and other raw matter, natural and fabricated my serve this purpose. By being neutral in its own use history (pristine, unused) it has virgin reference. By not being a fabricated object (such as a softball, or a rubber duck - two things with specific purpose and cultural reference for instance)  it is open to being imprinted on based on setting and environment of performance, and designations of action given by graphic notations. And, by directly addressing the materials - in terms of physical tendencies, qualities and characteristics as a material, we further the conception of neutrality expressed in graphic notations of my kind. This also supports the repetition and multiple generations of many scores- a material can be explored in such a way as to reveal something additional or new with each exploration based on variations of the limited set of aspects being scored for, often, aspects that may apply to a variety of materials, and not just one designated. Graphic plans are specific in their internal relationships of the scored aspects, but material designation may be given near or at time of performance, or, as adjustments to specific availability of materials, and to the circumstances, and setting. The effect of this direct relationship to the abstract nature of graphic notations is an equivalent in the performance realm, one that is not in its nature an outward thrust, based on artistic ego, but rather, is a vacuum - that ideally allows infusion from setting and environment, and infusion of understanding, of interpretation. The artist, in a relationship with materials and actions designed to cull performance qualities from these materials in further a broad conception of purposeful action, has a unique opportunity to disappear from the equation. The artist becomes a mechanism for momentary circumstance and an activation of energy potentials in action on material. Formalism is amplified and sensitized - SURformalism - which includes, as explained, the subjective as well, but, as a motivation psychological force working as a power of nature, from the artist, though as a force, far from use as content, motivations of artist in this situation can further artist absence from content.
    Motivation deserves further exploration in defining these parameters. And, it deserves specific example. For some months, I have been composing "GLANCING AT THE SUN/LIGHT scores. There are derived from a desire to express and moreover to relive a specific moment of ecstasy/ illumination - that was highly emotional, symbolic, and personal. Specifics of it have only been given at my whim to close confidants and people I trust and wish to share with - otherwise, it is something to remain hidden or to be evasive regarding.  To relive this moment in time, I compose these, everyday, many a day - it is a motivation, to experience ecstasy - that compels me to do this - yet, the personal nature necessitates a coding - that keeps this in the range of abstract graphic notation, while motivation makes it specific in terms of the generating source. Yet, the actual act it governs - looking at light - a separate act from the composing - may be read openly, and in many ways, open to interpretation in the Universal principle in keeping with SURformalism. The motivation is hidden, and, not necessary to the experience of the work, but, it necessary for the performing and the composition as performance of it, which are two different things. Performance of this particular form as composition remains inward and highly personal. If I perform GLANCING AT THE SUN/LIGHT as an act of glancing, I do not follow a score. Rather, I simply do it, as a live spontaneous act. The scores COULD be performed from , and thus be an artifact of the past act, but, due to the personal motivation of these pieces, I wish to experience composing as performing directly, and performance in the exterior world directly - so to relive - ecstasy. This introducing another aspect of these scores- if composing is performing of them, what truly is the action of playing out in the physical world the actions/ materials these scores govern? The performance of this kind is then an artifact. It retains none of the spontaneous qualities of the creation, but replaces it at most with small brackets of allowable reaction to the physical, and, to improvisations as the score allows, if it does, and, some have no improvisation at all. Even though performing, the relationship of composition to performances in the physical world, as composition is so largely interior except for the hand in notation, is one that for me is inverted. To perform live with materials and actions is exemplar, is the fixed form, which is often the function of the notation of a piece, a score. For me, the notation as performing is the manifestation of the idea. It is the spontaneous moment that is typically strived for in exterior performing.  In part due to the rarity of performing as something which consumes sufficient time to say, it IS something, I also invert this clause - to be in some state, as composing compulsively is for me, is to achieve performing - by virtue of bulk, of importance, not through rarity, but through consumption. The fact that a physical world performance is an artifact - does not necessarily diminish it. It is in a changed relationship for me, but it is at times an important expression of example. It is an equivalent that is less than achieving, but, as platonic models, a "reality" has a close relationship to the "real" as exemplified by the notating as performing act. Performing is for "show" as is the act of notating if observed. I have notated -GLANCING AT THE SUN/LIGHT as physical external performance. I sat in a chair, and I composed, many of them, and observing me do this, this was the performances, with no connection between watching me and the inward relationships I make when I perform this composing. Yet, this was separate for actually GLANCING AT LIGHT which I have also done - without, as I said, the use of score- I simply glance at a light source. So, this GLANCING has three forms - performing inwardly, the observation of my notating as performing, and the observation as a separate act of actually glancing at light without use of a score. Between these distinctions lays a generative area that is not defined, is not clear and must be a motivational source in itself, which remains an unidentified matter.
     Graphic notation is a natural means of research in regards to  SURformalism - that lends itself directly, and, is the ideal way to notate - for SURformal action.  The multiplicity possible through such action guides composition that stems from specific relationships, but unspecified materials and material designation. In developing these graphic plans, I find the process of their formation also is part of multiplicity - striving to find the perfect set of relationships, and the perfect representation for aspects being considered for inclusion. At some point the form becomes solidified. Yet, I have several forms that have never found materials and even specific actions so that they may be manifest. They are completely formed, and repetitious generations of variation of set aspects flow compulsively, as they do with notations with greater designations. Even in the completely undesignated forms, which as they are can have no manifestation, I have a spontaneous and complete experience of them as compositions as i am composing each one, just the same as I do with those that have been performed, or which have purposes I might imagine in the graphic notation's place, as I am composing. These undesignated forms may never find a manifestation, and I think, the chances are they will not. Though they were developed along the same path as other designated plans, at important times in there development, they were not attached to possible manifestation, and thus, led to form in a certain way - these undesignated forms are perhaps more truly  SURformalistc. They are complete with internal rational, yet, open to any manifestation - so, none - but the one they seem perfect for, which is merely the SENSE of composition. Indeed, these are experienced - as such when writing them, spontaneously, as performances - that are compulsive in composing - these perhaps truly are composing as performing, these uncommitted graphic plans. While it seems an inconsistency, that a plan must be attached to manifestation to be realized (or, not in keeping with direct relationship between open abstract score and open action) in fact, the attachment that leads scores to a certain kind of completion as realizable forms is also very open - the attachment mere guides as a possible realm of realization, and directs scores toward what variety of exploration this particular example might be.
    Part of Compulsive notation is that it solidifies time. As this kind of composition id spontaneous experience of a kind of performing, it is a way to be in this state nearly constantly, of performing - of experiencing performing and the development performance allows, as imprinting. As a rule, as part of my system of INSTRUMENTISM, and LOWER CONSCIOUSNESS, I am inclined not to remember or learn from what I do. Memory eliminates channels of newness and creation. Again, it is a patch over inconsistency. To imprint is not the same as learning or remembering. It is reflex, as talked about earlier. Imprinting merely modifies the innate organic nature and uses plasticity of mind to do this - it is an important distinction. Imprinting does not exclude, but includes - an addition to the newness which is in constant evolution in graphic plans, and even, in the narrow bandwidth created by an established form which is repeated with its aspects in varied relationships.  Imprinting creates small limited worlds as additions to newness of forms- and is one of the means of generating variation by making synthetic boundaries or physics laws of a limited small world. The solidifying of time also serves to actualize a person who through particularity or defect is much as the sought after state of newness, and forgetfulness - where the artist and in my case individual has been largely dismissed- for an increased awareness to the moment- with a backlash of desire to retain some grasp of self in continuous experience of performing - in newness. This is a self generating condition then, that I put myself in this state for newness, and then through a reaction to it, continue my presence there, through performing composition writing. And, attempting to retain a feeling of past. While it seems a desperate grasp at immortality, it is not really so. The need to solidify is also to occupy time - to use the moment, to fill it. It is making use, notating in this way it living in real time, thinking out loud, holding onto a handle of your own making that keeps me in life - a moment at a time - and away from diminishment - because, it is away from the issue of mortality and immortality. It is a side step. Away from preoccupation with a use of the moment that seems to suggests making a fixture of the moment, but, the compulsiveness of it - means it is moved on from, immediately. If anything, the presentation of such work suggest, by way of its convention, the mortality - innate in the observation of past things, an observation not truly present in the act of notation as performance. By considering notation as performing, we retain both the notion of the real manifest as a presence that makes, while not giving in to the notion of all being past, or retrospective.
    The freedom that in-the-moment allows, and, dismissing the idea that a piece must be refined beyond the quality it represents as variation of an established or developing form, has a strong generative power. Discretion is subject to its force, and, it is another means of removing the artist and that person's judgement from the equation. As a mechanism of a direct process and relation, there are no value judgments, only the direct connection to the generative source and power that drives the relationship. Freedom from judgment does not here mean anything is allowed, only that the relationship is close to pure, and there is no need for mediation of judgment, as with such a direct relationship, there will be no "incorrect" or poor expression manifest. All will be relevant, as it is directly connected to the generative source. It is trusting this state, and it is knowing firmly what exists within it that closes the uncreative influence away from pure, positive creation.
    My scores are all written in freehand - or, drawn. This is important - I hadn't thought about it much, but I was asked about it - and, it is significant. brain to hand to eye, not absolutely in that order- with as little mediation as possible - important because if we introduce a mechanism, even a ruler - we pull away from direct relation to the idea- as it flows through the organism - sufficient mechanism of the body. nature of line is valuable - if it wobbles, is infirm, or a straight dash - this is all direct quality of rendering and also determines variation and next movement - something that would be lost in chasing perfect angularity or using a computer, or other form of intervening tools. Everything means something in the hand to brain relationship - it is a process of flow, and the drawing forms the channel - with openness and its own clarity. Nothing between. It also, in rendering even a repetitive aspect of form - shows unique aspects of each score - even in the repeating of form - very important to large or multiple production, that it is an addition to the variation - .
So, patience and discipline - the scores set the pace - of drawing - and discipline, to continue to draw in infinite numbers requires a suspension of self to the process of notation. The discipline, like the patterns set with imprinting, becomes a behavior that is organic. Perhaps, the discipline is merely the beginning of the structuring of this state, after which, it is no longer discipline as such. Patience has much to do with suspension of the self. The self is an editor that has been put in place by many rational and irrational forces beyond our control. To suspend this for the time of working, or, as a terminal adjustment we allow the work to unfold and flow, as it has no need for an editor, and ego. When the connection is made, it is all perfect, intact.  Discipline may remain as such as then a commitment of time for the work that separates one from other aspects of one's living. It dissolves however within the process of notation as imprinting of behavior takes place.
    One last motivation is important to mention. It is a desire to make sense. It is associated with this direct connection to materials and situations I have established.  A direct connect creates its own flowing that is natural. This flowing is a codification or a resulting oceanic sensibility. It naturally fills in a wide space within the SURformal structure that might be called a metaphysic. It is the formation of a field of notation that will explain everything within the external and interior experience that may be addressed or defined in an algebraic fashion. The cracks between the stones of any resulting edifice will contain within their space the simply indescribable and unnamable. A definition of them may be formed by their isolation from the clearly defined, a definition of absence. Which is, of course, virtually the same - a notation may address these cracks by creating outlines around it, to perceive the indescribable and its nature based on effect and on what has not been yet characterized. By evasion, or evasive performance, the invisible is realized by what the performance/ notation does not supply, but what seems to be crucial. No system can address what it cannot see, but it can address adjacent areas, which will highlight, through absence, the focus of the otherwise complete metaphysic.

    Overall, could it be - that Compulsive Notation is merely a manifestation of a personal addictive behavior, rationalized for the conscious mind, which must find reason and purpose for organic impulses? I have to consider that this might be quite possible, and that it is not an intellectual construct at all, but a bodily reaction akin to a feeding frenzy for food, drugs, sex, excess. It might be possible, yet, the work continues, and of itself, has an existence regardless of origin.
    This is one possible overview. It is also possible, touching again, on motivation - expanding the last, the metaphysical view, in a narrower, personal frame, that incorporates the organic impulses just explained.
    There is a thick line. It divides events and our personal life from the abstractions of our minds. Our minds may form abstraction, to intellectually contend with events and living life - as a means of dealing with them as problematic. There is also dwelling within abstraction - and amplification possible - in abstraction of living - and, also, departure from these events. Departure maybe in the form of negatively influence extension, or positively - and, also, complete diversion away from. In normal states, this thick line keeps the nature from abstraction from involving material matters directly. It also keeps intact in a negative way - indwelling and amplification of these material events and circumstances with in the intellectual realm. It can keep the gauges of material measures from being applied to the abstraction we may make regarding the material - so, that negative responses of the intellect may not be harnessed in by physical limits - the intellect may create in this way a negative field second to the first, from which we are forced to view the material field. So, the thick line - regarding the material and abstract divide - becomes a cage which will not release us - not allowing escape into abstraction but instead, creates a second, more secure prison than the material. We may in this condition be forced to dwell in the material, if it is problematic, and in the abstract, which offers no answers, and is even a more secure cage - than the first- and which assures no release - from either. Notation "fields" may function within this realm of conditions - potential escapes and further, deeper prisons. Notational fields represent a digressive abstraction which may move in the two directions - of indwelling.
    The bulk of notation may become a "dark mass"  to which there is an increasing gravitational attraction of the artist who stands in both fields. The pull may draw from all that is in the notational field - and may exert attraction into the matter field - as magnetism does - passing through the solidity of the thick line - to make a growth along the line, that presses to it - upon the line - at the border to the material. This increasing dark mass thus exerts an ephemeral pressure from the material field to its edge, along the border - accumulating at one spot, becoming dense - and as gravity increases to it, spreads all along the border, which stretches along the endless supply of the material, and along the endless supply of the abstract field of notation. A shape is made - an organism - with an increasing density and weight, and an extending influence - less in gravitation from the mass of origin, but, also increasing at a rate equal to the spread of the initial mass. While this does not cross the border in matter, its influence if felt - and - so it is, with this negatively attracted matter - that it influences and increases of density, in an organic, spreading shape - at the border of the abstract, along its thick line of division. See this perhaps as spiritual infusion - this exchange of influence. The compulsion to notate becomes a loop of negativity - of indwelling - on the problematic aspects and conditions of the material that amplifies densities in both regions. This loop simply draws the loose free floating particles of specific conditions, and compresses with their own weight into increasingly denser darkness. And, as the supply from either field is limitless, the loop can build its edifice permanently in growth. While growth suggest life almost by definition - change - and so, matter too - yet, the darkness compresses from indistinct cells from the free elements - and breaks these down at last by shear force of pressure. Notation remains compulsive, and is further drawn from the creative source by the gravity of what has already been established, and through the widening and regular use of its channel through the vessel - as it is imprinted by this use. Thus also, through imprinting, the further contributions are fixed in certain dark, or negative directions - by familiarity and the gravity that also emits. The problems of the material field in which the creator half dwells increase also as they gain support through the negatively fixed abstraction field - and, though not crossing in material through the thick line, influence of gravity is felt through it - and, the influence of the creator who lives in both - becomes supportive of this slant of perspective. As the field thicken around the thick line, the creator begins to disappear - as it losses both mass to the material and intellect to the abstract field - and becomes a mechanism undifferentiated from its machine- like role.  From this, the mechanism will eventually fail - leaving the edifice it has generated behind, as a stone - to which there is no entry point - only - climbing over.
    There is a positive way in the relationship - that may still be escape - but - escape - from those bad aspects that can so easily color a neutral field -  and lead to re evaluation of those negative experiences of the material field - and, also, in a gravitational way - attract - but, through a weightless means - not of the physical influence, but, of the nature of abstraction. Growth and change - in areas where it is natural inclination and not a corrupting force - and - transformation- . In purity of creation, pure nature presents itself - good - is natural - for creation that is not diminished by generation and is always of a good and positive nature. To create a notation in this state is to create a reinforcement of and furtherance in the abstract field of a good principle - which is generative, and growth affirm, not growth degenerating, or, negative growth,  but - affirming - to the impulse - to create the new - which will not have this - negative buildup.  To forget - the material field - is a point of departure - from which its affirmation may be generated. Negative accumulates as influence in physical - while, when stripped of it, the creation is light - it is free to fly into newness, into new thought and impulse - and motivation that drives the making of new notation forms, and steers toward excitation and surprise in its making. To be open to the sensation of pure presence, of existence in the moment of experience - and to be the mediating channel of that sense to a reaction that is not past, but which is simultaneous - as a notation of the capture of that moment - is the first and only step to positive generation of an abstract equivalence of material - and abstract field - experience. The mechanism that allows, the creator in the middle - can disappear here as well as in the negative aspects. But, the disappearance - is not an extinction - it is a joining - a solidification - of purest purpose in the mechanism - where it seems to disappear - because it becomes a meaningful part. Like glancing at the light - one might cease to be before the act. One may live on through the perfect act of a pure nature.  There is residual permanence - in the positive - it is not gravitationally dense in that way of negative - it is airy and may be entered as the positive breathes with life - and, the permanence is not of the creator, but of the generation that mechanism has enacted. It does not have to be of stone, or solid matter. No, negative exists as stone remnants - solid, impenetrable  - with no room or space to enter - yet the positive - exists - lightly - as idea, as thought that is so simple there are many holes for breath and for the work to still be filled with living - because, it is always in the moment of its creation, and not render past, or dead. And is, not was. This is important to definition - of affirmative notation field -  as it is renders, that it stays in present tense. And - perhaps, a value - love - comes into it - of the way material field works - when pure in purpose, the physics of it - the love of result, and sharing with matter, of mind- and abstract possibility that material allows as a second voice, when it is in the present, and not past - it allows for - perfection - that a notation can form around behavior that is natural flowing of events and action to change the states of material - it is moving  - emotionally - and this is an important base for SURformal work - that it be sincere, and contains the emotion without mediation as part of this compulsion to be - and, to be part - . It would seem a subjective thing, but it is not - because it contains it - in a functional direct and unmediated way. It is thus not so much SUBJECTIVE as it is not retrospective thought or response - it is conditional to many matters at hand- not exactly scientific, as there is no superimposed method that is a past construction - that speculates on the future - but - all about the present - and - the future as more present as the future becomes, from inexistence.
     Is there God in this? Openly defined God as singular entity, or tendencies with constant momentary presence - there is God,  in it - as best manifest without retrospection - in works of the present and of the moment.  Religiosity is not inconsistent with it - or, with SURformal principle - God flows through it - God manifests through it -as through matter and mind in the present state and in the state of continuing, unaltering presence.  So - love - God - two powers which are hard for us to define shortly - two powers that yet are- but- which are what fills notation of my variety - that make - the undefinable cracks that give it generation and life -  which is - so much part of motivation flowing.
     To best describe me in these equations, I would say I am mechanism alone - I am one part of means of generation that i have taken my hand out of otherwise, and I am lessening personal presence, in exchange for me part of something, and also in giving way to natural powers and greater presence of other, of love, of God - that is outside of my mechanistic function. I use creator to describe mechanism before, but it is a loose usage - there is only one creator, and other is not creator - , is manipulation and manifest work of the one other.
     Is notation instructive or is what we see artifact - can it move us to perform - it - for any meaning - .? The artifact is as a trace to hint at what might be achieved from in that state from which it came - as instructive, it is only so by example - to the achievement of that state. There may be many paths to becoming a part of a larger purpose, but through a simple act of connection, the field of notation can as good as any be a path.
    I think - a personal angel - guides me through some of compulsive notation - I find - as with Glancing at the Sun/Light - it helps to have a presence from deep within, to oil the mechanism, to spill on it, an extra sensation - of commitment, of love - of feeling - that is a distant target, for the return to some experience of the world that was transcendent, and which keeps a contact with the material, as it may be manifest in singular, transcendental moments of the likeness of perfection.
   How to study and express - embodiment - and is it a separate preparation of the mechanism - to focus, or must it come as infusion in what has been established of compulsive notation?
    This perhaps, an infused purpose - addressed as that, to see how that would be -  an infusion as a gas to a porous substance, that reaches all points, porous nature of whole allows for infusion - consistent porosity -   as would be the conditions of Compulsive Notation when idealized or reaching ideal state - close to what i have hence described - how would it be? That, with forethought of long thinking and clarity creates the consistent porosity - of a balanced and uncontaminated connection of act to matter to mind - without mediation beyond necessary mechanism -  ? And allows infusion, with other- infusions, alongside - God, and love- and, angelic/ personal inspiration from life's nearness to perfect moments? They would mingle, like several winding currents in a stream of direction through the cavities of an organic and organically formed whole - attuned to nature and sparing unnecessary use or redundancy - of effort and of matter-. Complete infusion, no more, no less, filling, passing through and out into time and followed by the continuance of the current - of the sources that never cease to flow in natural, uncontaminated movement of direct connect, and cause effect. Always refresh, new, alive and in the moment of generation, standing firmly in positive affirmation of existing process-. They would mingle, like the infusion into a personal life, that keeps us from despairing of sad conditions and failures to deal with the weave of actions and events, which Compulsive Notation and its other possible likenesses not explored here can threaten to help us avoid - in the possible negative path of it on which we might digress? Along side it then, with the avoidance of that path - to create a positive light, which may illuminate correction to personal life - if we might consider its problems as possibly redirected to positive affirming means of correction, and not avoidance - ... such might be the very nature of infusion then - and the purpose of it - to generate a fail safe to avoidance - with God, love, personal transcendental moments - as a sweet wine - and lubrication, and, alixer -
but - how is embodiment represented by this parallel infusion - perhaps - as defined as an identity of - to be - embodiment - which may oppose the disappearance of self - but, which may also function as a kindness- may simple be an ephemeral side stream to infusion - where, infusion may be though of as a physical model - with the infusion - of - embodiment - following beside it like a ghost - ? without substance, even as the model of which is ephemeral in nature - a double ephemeral model, one stream more distant from material than the first, though both are ephemeral, and of the abstract field? Possible. We may use distance and degrees of material proximity to make our models - as one thing in theory may be closer to existence as a separate manifestation than another - due to likeness, and distance from a source model, though all live only in abstraction from the material...? Abstraction may be dividing in any way convenient - as it makes no matter- and, only matter to the purpose as a template that may influence- across that thick line - any, as long as this influence is of a positive nature, it will not congest, or slow natural purposes- only organize, and enable in different ways.
    I have a notation form - that has lines, horizontal, and then, a diagonal from the horizontal - that seems to depict a landscape - simple, but then, added to - with triangles atop the horizontal line like on a landscape - and, going down along the diagonal line - like, down a hill. They are like little mountains. From the sides of the triangle shapes come little jagged nest-like forms, in a scribble V shape - like stabbing into the mountains - mountains, or, volcanos - because, I realized, it is a simplification of a carving on panel that a dear person has sent me - of a landscape in Indonesia - though seeing her in 2007, I missed an Indonesia connection in 2008 and did not see her- slightly different from last jungle location - They were beautiful, stylized renderings - mine are crude line drawing, simply rendered, as with much graphic notation that is done freehand and quickly into bulk multiples- this one (art venue) i missed, with a volcano. It figured heavily in her subsequent art works. But, i found on contemplation, that i had absorbed it- from here stylized renderings -into a complete abstraction, as a kind of readable score, whose purpose has not been designated, only consistent internal logic, and whose purpose may never be affixed to any thing or any materials. It is "uncommitted." Yet, it is, as I have described before, a complete and consistent scoring. But, now I know its source- and now - perhaps, even as an unfixed form, it is a reference- to her -as is the Glancing at the Sun/Light, and thus, functions as a motivational infusion - of the love variety- of inspiration - I recall - through vicarious experience, and, through memory of my first contact with her in first jungle experience, a train between the two - one, we experience together, the second, her alone, but, transmitted to me, who has used her rendering as an initially unconscious beginning point from which i fall into compulsive - inspired- unfixed notation. And- through it - i relive a variation of the Glancing at the Sun/Light scores- through another form - a new form - source, not even my own experience, but hers. But, also, a means to draw me closer, and perhaps, closer than the first- because, removed from the material farther, and, also, more distant and farther in time. So, thus the aspect of degrees of abstraction may function here, with a different kind of distance from material experience. So, love manages- to work its way into many things through a unique perhaps means of infusion of its own.  I should include examples, photocopies from as much of my notations in this text as i can, if it becomes longer- to make things clearer - .
But, the infusion of love should be very clear - distance, lack, forgetfulness- and all the battles of the spirit as it tries to retain some image and comfort for itself across vast distance time and matter. It is an embarrassing one perhaps, but, an important one in terms of explaining the power of the various influences and motivations - yes, love is a powerful example we all can understand. It is maybe the most commonly generative - though sometimes base, it is also the purist too - real love - that passing from material into abstraction - and lives like a soul without a body - and, the base is gone - the flesh is no longer relevant for the circumstance at hand - of distance - only abstraction remains to make the connection. Words fall short always- the established form of expression - only a unique singular notation will do justice to the uniqueness of ones own experience with their love.  All romantics should thus become mechanisms of graphic notations as a means of more directly reaching out, across the abstract field, to the objects of their love.  That is, i think, as close to an obvious fact as I will come. I think, though, it is my most powerful personal motivation. To reach, to disguise on the journey in an encoded way, in hopes that the source will decypher and understand - this deepest of human inspirations, a personal letter, a love- letter. If you send it and make it over and over and over in variation and multiple - it will get through - it might become the life work, but, it will take on its own life, this channel with intent, TO GET THERE and be understood, be read, make swoon - or cry.  Highly subjective, but, consistent with SURformal principle - that there is innate functioning - at rudimentary levels - that drive toward clarity, innate purpose and obvious meaning. Language of traditional means fails -convention is a horrible mediation - only the personal, singular language and means can truly communicate purity of individual meaning - and, only through suspension of that individual identity- can the proper language be achieved. It seems difficult, but it is not. To create the unique expression for the ONE experience or person is natural, and should be demanded of any true experience at any level of purity or directness in terms of connection - love especially - deserves a first, pure, unused, virgin- channel.  It deserves - its own - notation - of pure - and individually directed - expression. And, it deserves - also - the suspension of the ego within it - which greatly purifies the form - so that - the object - is the center - and not - the one who sends. Consistent with the form, love - should be all about giving.
    To mark - to begin - from nothing but a surface and a thing to mark with - turns the wheel. It is from nothingness, and it is desire to see what nothingness invisibly contains - that begins the process- described to this point. It is not to empty the mind, but to transpose the actuality of immediate circumstance into an image that mirrors specially an essence of possibility, of simultaneously existing moments - a multiple of present times, as if side by side, that do not conflict, do not change or alter each other, and which are equally true to laws of possibility. All invention in this realm is linked to that first act, of generation from the field of possibility and multiplicity, the laying of mark on blank page. To presume or make presumption as to direction or expectation is to create falsehood, to interfere with creation with the establishments that are past, of no immediate consequence, and open to the errors  of retrospection.  To rely on know things when in the moment is to destroy the moment in favor of a fictional, ineffective premise from which only extrapolated redundancies can grow. Possible movement becomes backward facing which moves nowhere, as it stands against the back wall of time - and which thus stays in place, and fills the moments, which do not wait, with empty usage .